Blowjobs & Granola: What Keeps Couples Connected

Blowjobs & Granola: What Keeps Couples Connected

What actually keeps desire alive in a long-term relationship?

Sex therapist Vanessa Cushing joins Jen and Noelle for a candid conversation about desire discrepancies, painful sex, safety, sexual trauma, menopause, touch, and what happens when couples slowly stop feeling connected.

Vanessa walks us through some of the questions she asks couples in sex therapy—and Jen and Noelle volunteer themselves as very willing guinea pigs. The conversation gets personal as they explore low desire, pain during sex, feeling safe with a partner, different needs for touch, and how positive anticipation can help rebuild desire.

And then there are blowjobs and granola.

Vanessa shares a deceptively simple story about how couples become disconnected: we gradually stop noticing and doing the little things that make our partner feel seen, wanted, and loved. The way back may have much less to do with having more sex than with rebuilding connection, pleasure, consideration, and appreciation.

ABOUT VANESSA

Vanessa Cushing is a Licensed Professional Counselor and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists), and the founder of Cushing Counseling LLC. She specializes in sexual health, trauma, intimacy, and relationships, working with individuals and couples on everything from sexual dysfunction and desire discrepancies to LGBTQ+ affirming care and out-of-control sexual behaviors.

Vanessa trained at Johns Hopkins University and the University of Virginia, and she is the founder of Sex Therapy Pro, an AI platform built to make expert sexual health guidance more accessible. Her work sits at the intersection of clinical expertise, lived experience, and a deep commitment to the people most often left out of the conversation.

CONNECT WITH VANESSA CUSHING

Cushing Counseling: https://www.cushingcounseling.com/
Sex Therapy Pro: https://sextherapypro.ai/
Instagram: @cushingcounseling
Facebook: @cushingcounseling
YouTube: @vanessacushing

Instagram: @VaginaWhispering
Email Jen and Noelle at VaginaWhispering@Gmail.com
Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com


Disclaimer:
While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.

Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom
License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F